Category: MindTree

Distress Intolerance || Effective Ways to Tolerate Distress

by James Champion

FAST FACTS:

  • Distress intolerance refers to a perceived inability to fully experience unpleasant emotions.
  • It is linked to a fear of experiencing negative emotion.
  • Distress intolerance can occur for both high and low intensity emotions.

WHAT IS DISTRESS INTOLERANCE?

Distress intolerance refers to a perceived inability to fully experience unpleasant, aversive, or uncomfortable emotions, and is accompanied by a desperate need to escape the uncomfortable emotions. Difficulties tolerating distress are often linked to a fear of experiencing negative emotion. Distress intolerance often revolves around high intensity emotional experiences, such as when the emotion is strong and powerful (e.g., intense despair after and argument with a loved one, or intense fear whilst giving a speech). However, it could also occur for lower intensity emotions (e.g., nervousness about an upcoming medical examination, sadness when remembering a past relationship break-up). It is not the intensity of the emotion itself, but rather how much you fear it, how unpleasant it feels to you, how unbearable it seems, and how much you want to get away from it, that determines if you are intolerant of distress.

THE PARADOX…

The more we fear, struggle with, and try to avoid any form of distress, generally the worse that distress gets. Our fear and avoidance of the distress actually magnifies the distress.

EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO TOLERATE DISTRESS:

Distress tolerance require us to accept our current situation in a non-judgemental way. We must learn how to tolerate discomfort without demanding that people or things be “different”.
ACCEPTANCE

Getting angry in response to a situation that is upsetting prevents you from seeing what is really happening. Intense emotions have a way of blinding us from the reality of the situation, which only allows the emotions to escalate.

Acceptance means being willing to experience a situation as it is, rather than how we want it to be. It is about acknowledging the present moment (no matter what it is) without judging the events as good or bad.

Accepting distress is not about having to like emotional discomfort, or being resigned to feeling miserable, or wallowing in negative emotions. Rather, accepting distress is about seeing the negative emotions for what it is, and changing how you pay attention to emotion. Reacting in an accepting way towards your emotion, often changes the effect the emotion has on you.

AVOID SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOURS

Engaging in self-destructive behaviours often brings temporary relief from emotional pain. The most common ways of doing this would be by using alcohol or drugs to escape emotional discomfort. Binge eating is also a common way to alleviate distress. Excessive sleep can also be used in an unhelpful way to zone out from and escape unpleasant emotions.

These types of behaviours can serve as distractions from whatever emotional pain we may be feeling. In the long-term, self-destructive behaviours like binge drinking, drug use, and emotional eating, make our emotions worse and prolong the challenges we are facing by distancing us from healthier ways of coping.

RELAX & SOOTHE YOURSELF

Learning to relax and self-soothe is fundamental for healthy emotional functioning. When you are relaxed, your body is not in a constant state of emergency, preparing to fight or run away at any given moment. Most importantly, your brain is much more capable of coming up with healthy ways of coping with stress when physically relaxed. There are many ways to relax – read our tips on getting your self-care routine started (self-care-you-cant-pour-from-an-empty-cup.html)

SAFE-PLACE VISUALISATION

Fun fact! your brain and body often cannot tell the difference between what’s really happening and what you are imagining. Use this to your advantage. Find a place where you can be alone and practice visualising a real or imaginary place that makes you feel safe and relaxed. Explore this safe place in vivid detail

REDISCOVER YOUR VALUES

Your values are the standards, morals, principles, and ideals that fill your life with meaning, worth, and importance. These are the reasons that we have to wake up in the morning – why we’re motivated to keep going. Sometime we may feel adrift in life, unsure of the reason for doing much of anything – these are the times when we feel lost and empty. Discovering or rediscovering your values can help you tolerate emotional distress and begin to build a life worth living.

LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

No matter what you do, it is always now. No matter how much you would like to go back in time to fix something that went wrong or blame someone who hurt you, it is impossible. The desire to live in the past or in the future creates suffering. All of the time spent dwelling in the past or focusing on the future results in something tragic: missing out on life. It is happening right now – all around you. 

Focus on the present moment by drawing your attention to anything sensory, a particular task you are doing, a sound, taste, smell, sight, or feeling of touch you may not have realised you were experiencing that you can now tune into.

SELF-AFFIRMING STATEMENT & COPING THOUGHTS

 A large part of learning how to tolerate distress involves having a strong foundation of yourself as a healthy capable person. You must believe in yourself first. Behind intense sadness, rage, and despair there is a caring, loving, and strong person who is capable of handling intense negative situations in a healthier way.

Using positive statements can help us develop a new attitude to ourselves and our situations. Use a statement that starts with “I” and use the present tense, such as “I am strong” or “I am a good and worthwhile person”.

It is helpful to hear encouraging words during times of intense emotional distress. Sometimes a supportive friend or partner is not around to provide us with the emotional support and comfort that we may desire. In these times, we must be capable of providing ourselves with this comfort. Coping thoughts consist of reminders of times when you’ve been strong in the past and words that give you strength. “I am strong enough to handle what happening to me right now”.

Sleep || How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep

by James Champion

FAST FACTS:

  • The term sleep hygiene is used to describe good sleep habits.
  • On-going use of sleeping pills may lead to dependence and interfere with developing good sleep habits.
  • Only sleep when you’re sleepy.
  • Contrary to popular belief, avoid alcohol & other sedatives.
  • Get plenty of sunlight to help regulate your sleep-wake cycle.

SLEEP HYGIENE: WHAT IS IT?

The term sleep hygiene is used to describe good sleep habits. Considerable research has gone into developing a set of guidelines and tips that are designed to enhance good sleeping, and there is an abundance of research to suggest that these strategies can provide long-term solutions to sleep difficulties.

Whilst there are many medications that are used to treat insomnia, these tend to be only effective in the short-term. Ongoing use of sleeping tablets may lead to dependence and interference with developing good sleep habits independent of medication, thereby prolonging sleep difficulties. Good sleep hygiene is an important part of treating insomnia, either in conjunction with other strategies (e.g. medication) or alone.

TIPS TO GETTING A BETTER NIGHT’S SLEEP:

GET REGULAR

One of the best ways to train your body to sleep well is to go to bed and get up at more or less the same time every day, even on weekends and days off! This regular rhythm will make you feel better and will give your body something to work from.
SLEEP WHEN SLEEPY
Only try to sleep when you actually feel tired or sleepy, rather than spending too much time awake in bed.

GET UP & TRY AGAIN

If you haven’t been able to get to sleep after about 20 minutes or so, get up and do something calming or boring until you feel sleepy, then return to bed and try again. Sit quietly on the couch with the lights off (bright light will tell your brain that it is time to wake up), or read something boring like the phonebook. Avoid doing anything that is too stimulating or interesting, such as checking Facebook, as this will wake you up even more.

AVOID CAFFEINE & NICOTINE

It is best to avoid consuming any caffeine (e.g., coffee, tea, cola-drinks, chocolate, and some medications) or nicotine (cigarettes) for at least 4 to 6 hours before going to bed. These substances act as stimulants and interfere with the ability to fall sleep.

AVOID ALCOHOL & OTHER SEDATIVES

It is also best to avoid alcohol for at least 4 to 6 hours before going to bed. Contrary to popular belief that alcohol is relaxing and helps them to get to sleep, it actually interrupts the quality of sleep. Other sedatives, including sleep medications, can impair one’s ability to have quality deep sleep.

BED IS FOR SLEEPING

Try not to use your bed for anything else other than sleeping, so that your body comes to associate bed with sleep. If you use your bed as a place to watch TV, eat, read, work on your laptop, pay bills, and other things, your body will not learn this connection.

AVOID DAYTIME NAPPING

It is best to avoid taking naps during the day, to make sure that you are tired at bedtime. If you can’t make it through the day without a nap, make sure it is less than an hour and before 3pm.

ESTABLISH SLEEP RITUALS

You can develop your own rituals of things to remind your body that it is time to sleep – some people find it useful to do relaxing stretches or breathing exercises for 15-minutes before bed each night, or sit calmly with a cup of caffeine-free tea.

BATH TIME

Having a hot bath 1-2 hours before bedtime can be useful, as it will raise your body temperature, causing you to feel sleepy as your body temperature drops again. Research shows that sleepiness is associated with a drop in body temperature.

NO CLOCK-WATCHING

Many people who struggle with sleep tend to watch the clock too much. Frequently checking the time during the night can wake you up (especially if you turn on the light to read the time or use your phone) and reinforces negative thoughts such as “oh no, look how late it is, I’ll never get to sleep”. If necessary, hide or remove the bedroom clock.

EXERCISE

Regular exercise is a great idea to help with good sleep, but try not to do strenuous exercise in the 4-hours before bedtime. Morning walks are a good way to start the day feeling refreshed!

SUNLIGHT

Get plenty of sunlight, as it helps to regulate your sleep-wake cycle.

EAT RIGHT

A healthy, well-balanced diet will help you to sleep well, but timing is important. Some people find that a very empty stomach at bedtime is distracting, so it can be useful to have a light snack, but a heavy meal soon before bed can also interrupt sleep. Some people recommend a warm glass of milk, which contains tryptophan, which acts as a natural sleep inducer.

THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT

It is very important that your bed and bedroom are quiet and comfortable for sleeping. A cooler room with enough blankets to stay warm is best, and make sure you have curtains or an eye-mask to block out early morning light and earplugs if there is noise outside your room.

  • minimise external noise (use earplugs if necessary)
  • keep the bedroom clean and tidy
  • make sure the bedroom is a comfortable temperature
  • introduce pleasant smells such as a drop of lavender oil onto the pillow
  • get extra pillows

KEEP DAYTIME ROUTINE THE SAME

Even if you have a bad night sleep and are tired it is important that you try to keep your daytime activities the same as you had planned. That is, don’t avoid activities because you feel tired. This can reinforce and maintain the insomnia.

Self-Care || 3 Ways to Quieten Self-Criticism

by Tamara Brown

1. SEE IT FROM ANOTHER POINT-OF-VIEW

Self-criticism can take a toll on mental health and can lead many people to believe they are worthless. Often, there is a huge gap between how you see yourself and how your loved ones see you. Try seeing yourself from the perspective of someone who loves or cares about you. Think of any compliments you have received lately and if it helps, write them down. Take the time to really think about the reasons you are loved by those around you, and try not to shoot them down.

2. FRIEND TEST

When you are experiencing a lot of self-criticism, again think of someone you love. If you wouldn’t say the criticism to your loved one, don’t say it to yourself. Try to stop yourself when you have negative self-talk that is overly critical, by asking “is this an acceptable thing to say to someone else?”. If the answer is ‘no’, then can the thought be reframed in a less critical way? Show yourself the same empathy and understanding as you would show a good friend.

3. FIND THE GREY AREA

Watch out for words like “always” and “never”. Black and white thinking occurs when thoughts stay in the extremes: “I’ll always be this way” or “things will never change”. This all-or-nothing thinking is usually a cognitive distortion and isn’t an accurate reflection of what’s really going on. Don’t let this type of self-criticism stop you in your tracks. Reframe your all-or-nothing thoughts. Try thinking of setback as detours instead of roadblocks. Remind yourself that one mistake or misstep does not have to affect what happens in the future. You can acknowledge the setback but reassure yourself that things can still change for the better.

Positive Affirmations || Change the way you think

by James Champion

It is helpful to hear encouraging words during times of intense emotional distress. Sometimes a supportive friend or partner is not around to provide us with the emotional support and comfort that we may desire. In these times, we must be capable of providing ourselves with this comfort.

Using positive statements can help us develop a new attitude to ourselves and our situations. Choose a statement from those below, or make one that means more to you, and repeat it to yourself throughout the day, everyday, of every week, of every month. Use a statement that starts with “I” and use the present tense.

  • I am strong
  • I have strength
  • I am determined and successful
  • I am a good and worthwhile person
  • I am a unique and special person
  • I have inner strength and resources
  • I am confident and competent
  • I hold my head up high
  • People like me – I am a likeable person and I like myself
  • I care about others, I am needed and worthwhile
  • I am a loving person
  • I have a lot to be proud of
  • I have all that I need
  • I am in control of my life
  • I can achieve anything I want to achieve
  • I make wise decisions based on what I know
  • I have set my goals and am moving towards them
  • I accept myself as a unique and worthwhile person
  • My life has meaning and purpose
  • I am in control of my choices
  • I am strong and healthy
  • I am calm and confident
  • I have many options and can make wise decisions
  • Everything is getting better every day
  • I am calm and relaxed
  • I am healthy and have all that I need
  • I live a healthy and positive lifestyle
  • I know I can master anything if I practice it continually
  • My life purpose can be whatever I choose it to be
  • All is well, right here, right now

Gratitude || 5 Reasons Why it’s Good for your Mental Health

by Tamara Brown

1. GRATITUDE IMPROVES PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH

Gratitude reduces a multitude of negative emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Research has shown that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

2. GRATITUDE IMPROVES PHYSICAL HEALTH

Grateful people experience fewer aches and pain and they report feeling healthier than those who don’t cultivate gratitude. Grateful people are also more likely to take care of their health, and are reported to exercise more often than others.

3. GRATITUDE IS GOOD FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Showing appreciation can help foster new friendships. For instance, one study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship.

4. GRATITUDE HELPS WITH SLEEP

​Writing in a gratitude journal improves sleep. Spend just 15 minutes jotting down a few grateful sentiments before bed, and you may sleep better and longer.

5. GRATITUDE FOSTERS RESILIENCE

For years, research has shown gratitude not only reduces stress, but it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. Recognising all you have to be thankful for – even during the worst times of your life – fosters resilience.