If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that the world doesn’t always follow our scripts. By now, most of us have felt the “Resolution Relapse.” That mid-January slump where the ambitious goals we set on January 1st begin to feel like heavy chores rather than inspiring changes.
This year, instead of asking you to do more, perform better, or “optimise” your life, I want to invite you to try a different psychological approach: Psychological Flexibility.
The Trap of the “Static Goal”
In traditional goal setting, we often create rigid targets. We tell ourselves, “I will go to the gym five days a week” or “I will worry less about work.” The problem is that life is dynamic, but these goals are static. When a busy week hits or a personal challenge arises, a rigid goal breaks. When the goal breaks, we often feel like we’ve failed, leading to a cycle of shame and abandonment.
Psychological flexibility, a core concept in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), refers to a person’s ability to stay in the present moment and change or persist in behaviours that align with your deepest values, even when things get difficult and life goes off script.
To usher in 2026 with a fresh perspective, let’s look at three ways to move away from rigid expectations and toward a more fluid, resilient way of living.
1. Values Over Variables
A goal is a destination (e.g., weight loss), but a value is a direction (e.g., prioritising health and vitality). You can reach a goal and then stop, or miss a goal and feel defeated. But you can never “finish” a value.
In 2026, ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to be in the face of stress?
If you value “connection,” and you’re too tired for a long dinner party, a five-minute phone call still honour that value. You haven’t failed; you’ve adapted. Goals are about the destination; values are about how you drive the car. You can miss a goal and still live your values. You can have a “bad day” and still be a kind person, a curious learner, or a loyal friend.
2. Embracing the “And”
We often live in an “Either/Or” mindset: “I can either be successful, or I can be relaxed.” Or, “I can’t start my project until I stop feeling nervous.” Psychological flexibility teaches us the power of “And.” You can feel incredibly anxious and still deliver a great presentation. You can feel grief over the past and still find joy in a morning coffee. By accepting that complex emotions coexist, we stop wasting energy trying to “fix” our feelings and start using that energy to live our lives.
3. Defusion: Watching the Weather
Our thoughts are often like the weather: unpredictable and sometimes harsh. “Cognitive Defusion” is the practice of seeing thoughts for what they are: just words and images passing through the mind, not absolute truths.
Instead of saying “I am a failure,” try saying, “I am having the thought that I am a failure.” This tiny linguistic shift creates space. It allows you to observe the “storm” of your thoughts without being swept away by them.
Moving Forward
2026 doesn’t need a “New You.” It needs a “Real You.” Someone who can navigate the highs and lows with curiosity rather than judgment. At MindTree Psychology, our team of highly-qualified and experienced Gold Coast Psychologists can guide you to move beyond the surface-level “quick fixes” and support the development of long-term resilience over temporary resolutions. We are here to help. This year, my hope for you isn’t just that you reach a milestone on a list, but that you become more adaptable and connected to what truly matters.